[Editorial] The Paradox of the Holidays: Deep Loneliness Left by Fragmented Families and Superficial Relationships

[Editorial] The Paradox of the Holidays: Deep Loneliness Left by Fragmented Families and Superficial Relationships

In Korean dramas, it is remarkably common to see scenes where long-held emotions explode, leading to fierce conflicts between parents and children, siblings, and in-laws around the holidays. During Chuseok, which along with Seollal is the most important traditional holiday when the entire family gathers, why do Koreans seemingly only meet to clash and hurt one another?

The original meaning of Chuseok traces back to ancient Silla. According to the Samguk Sagi (History of the Three Kingdoms), King Yuri, the third monarch of Silla, divided the women of the capital into two teams for a month-long weaving competition. The losing side treated the winners to food and wine, sparking a nationwide festival filled with games, song, and dance called "Gabae." While customs like wrestling (ssireum) and circle dances (ganggangsullae) have faded over time, modern Chuseok still holds profound symbolism as the largest festival where families cook newly harvested rice, make songpyeon, express gratitude to ancestors, and strengthen family bonds.

However, today's holidays often act as a spark for conflict and division rather than a time to strengthen bonds. This is evidenced by the rapidly growing number of people who choose to travel abroad during the holiday season instead of gathering with relatives. This phenomenon is the result of multiple structural causes: rapid urban expansion, overconcentration in the Seoul metropolitan area, and the rise of single-person households moving beyond mere nuclearization. Media development and extreme individualization have further weakened family ties. Fundamentally, the grueling reality of modern individuals struggling just to make a living has stripped away the emotional luxury of the holidays.

This social stress and loss of connection have led to distrust and discord among families, who should be closest to one another. The landscape of the holidays is changing due to the resignation that it is more comfortable not to see each other than to exchange hurtful words. Interestingly, the void left by family is being filled by "others with shallow ties." Interacting with others at a reasonable distance does not require enduring emotional stress, and as long as basic etiquette is maintained, there is no risk of becoming an outlet for someone's anger.

Ultimately, our extremely fragmented society has created a paradoxical landscape where family ties are dissolving, and people depend on strangers even during major holidays to soothe their loneliness.

Can we truly find the deep comfort and consolation once provided by traditional family communities among strangers kept at a safe distance? Right now, we might be feigning happiness, comforting ourselves by saying "strangers are better than exhausting family members" while maintaining polite boundaries. However, if we ignore the precious realization of "restoring humanity" found within the family—where we clash, get bruised, yet ultimately embrace one another—the continuation of extreme selfishness and superficial encounters will eventually plunge us into a thicker, more pathological loneliness. It is time to reflect once again on the true warmth between people and the tolerance that transcends scars.